


Senseless

by Chickenparm



Category: Game Grumps, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Cheating, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Smut, Swearing, YouTube, love love love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-06 01:39:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8729626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chickenparm/pseuds/Chickenparm
Summary: Starring on Guest Grumps was supposed to be the pinnacle of your YouTube career. Instead, everything spiraled out of control.





	1. Pretty Woman

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO. THIS ONE IS GONNA HAVE A FEW CHAPTERS. 
> 
> I am trash. This isn't beta'd. Descend into madness with me.
> 
> 3/20/2017 - Whoaaa 1k hits guys, thank you!

"Hey! C'mon in. You don't have to knock next time!" 

Barry opened the door wider, guiding you into the large office space. Once inside, you took a moment to look around at the people there, all of whom you immediately recognized. How could you not? You'd dreamed of coming here ever since you started making your own gaming channel on YouTube. Now that you had a few million subs under your belt, you'd gotten their attention after you'd mentioned them on one of your Live Streams.

One of your friends on your stream had made a comment about one of the Game Grumps' new videos, and had jokingly asked when you were going to be a Guest Grump. You responded with how you'd practically shit yourself if you ever got that opportunity. Six hours later, your inbox was the home of an email from Barry Kramer with an offer you could never refuse. 

On the bean bag chairs were Danny and Ross, looking at something on a cellphone and laughing. Suzy was standing at the counter in the kitchenette. You briefly wondered where Arin was, before you found yourself scooped into a hug and pulled off your feet. You laughed, awkwardly trying to reach your arms around the person and patting their back. Arin.

Arin set you back on your feet and gave you the widest grin you'd ever seen, "I'm so glad you made it, you don't even fuckin' know."

"I think I do know," You laughed, fixing your sweatshirt from its twisted position and picking your cell phone up from off the floor, "I'm just as excited. Practically shit myself, remember?"

"Yeah, I was watching your Livestream, as soon as I heard you were interested I called Barry up and twisted his arm until we could get you on the show," From across the room, Danny and Ross greeted you with smiles as well, and Suzy called over that it was nice to meet you. She seemed to be busy stirring something in a Tupperware container. 

Barry left you for a moment to get the papers that needed to be signed, and that left you alone in the middle of the Grump Space, unsure of what to do with yourself. In the front pocket of your sweatshirt, you clasped your hands together and moved over to Suzy to see what she was making. You asked if she needed help, and she waved the spoon she was using in the air.

"No ma'am, I'm just stirring up some sugar scrubs for one of my videos. I'm doing one on home made beauty recipes and stuff," You leaned over to look at the goop she was mixing together, and noticed two other bowls pushed to the back of the counter with similar concoctions in them. One smelled like peanut butter. You scrunched your noise up, and Suzy must have noticed.

"Yeah, not excited for that one either. Peanut butter, coconut oil, cocoa powder, and some oats. It's supposed to be a facial? It smells good, but it has such an oily consistency," She trailed off and pushed the bowl she was stirring into line with the other two, "This one is just sugar, lemon extract, and some oil. If it works, do you want some?"

"Oh god, I love lemon. You bet I do," Your response made her laugh, and she took a tentative lick of the spoon and nodded. At that moment, Barry came back and called you over to his desk to go over all of your waivers and NDAs. He explained them pretty quickly, it all seemed fairly standard. You signed everything and Barry filed it away in the drawer next to his desk, under the folder that matched your name. 

"Yo, we ready? Come pick out a game," Danny called across the space to you, and you looked to Barry for confirmation. You hated to act like he was your babysitter, but... you didn't want to do anything wrong. He gave you a small smile before waving you off. Dan lead you to the games, and you immediately picked out Dark Cloud, much to his surprise.

Getting situated in the Grump room was rather quick, since all of the recording equipment was set up, as well as a third microphone for you. Arin and Danny took the outside seats, leaving you with the middle. You sat down heavily, your thigh pressed up against Arin. Dan had sat down with his feet tucked under him, and if you shifted to the right even an inch, they would be touching you.

To say you were terrified of feet would be putting it lightly.

Arin booted up the game and equipment, and turned to you, "How should we start this? Do you wanna lead us in?" You thought for a moment, before nodding and giving them a shushing gesture.

"Hey guys, welcome to Game Grumps. I was supposed to be the Guest Grump, but Arin and Danny eloped last night so it's just me," You gestured for them to keep quiet and picked up the controller,"So now it's just Game Grump. I am Grump. And also Not-So-Grump. I'm also marrying Suzy. Anyway, I'm just gonna play Dark Cloud."

As the beginning cutscene started, you began to imitate Arin and Danny, "Hey, I'm Arin Hanson and I like to talk about my farts. Suzy has to dutch-oven me so that I can achieve sexual satisfaction."

Arin's face was beet red from trying to hold in his laughs, so you turned on Danny, "And I'm Dan Avidan. I'm very tall. I have a lot of hair. Not all of it is on my head," This was the breaking point, and Danny's screech of laughter was enough to cause you to break down as well. 

"Oh god, I'm so embarrassed, I didn't think Suzy would tell anyone about my lusty fantasies," Arin puffed, wiping his face and taking the controller from your offering hands, "Anyway, Danny and I are back from our honeymoon, and we have a special someone on the show!"

"Hello. Yes. It is me," You said quickly, and Danny chimed in afterward.

"If you guys watch her channel at all, she made a comment on one of her Livestreams about wanting to appear on our show. Once Arin saw that, he practically beat up Barry to get it done. Barry, edit on a picture of you with some bruises. Yeah."

"I mean, It-it's not something I've only wanted recently, I've been watching you guys for ages, so this is awesome. You guys are the ones who inspired me to make my own channel."

"Cool, so we'll expect some royalties from you sometime next week. Anyway, Dark Cloud! Us! Playing! Why are we playing it?"

"It's um... It's been my favorite game since forever. Mostly his running animation. I always played as uh... Ruby. The genie chick," You responded, inching closer to Arin when Danny shifted, and Arin noticed. 

"You good?" You nodded quickly, and let out a small huff.

"Sorry. I'm uh... pretty cool with almost everything. Bugs, snakes, vomit, blood. I-I can't do feet though. I am 100% batshit terrified of feet," Almost immediately, Danny kicked his feet down to the floor and slung an arm around you, apologizing profusely. You laughed and scooted back to the middle of the couch, where you weren't practically on Arin's lap.

"Nah It's cool, you didn't know. Anyway, fun stuff!" The rest of the episode went by quickly, bullshitting through Dark Cloud and cracking jokes. You ended up with your thigh pressed against Arin's, but it wasn't your fault this time. He seemed to have inched back over. You could have moved closer to Danny, since there were a few inches to spare, but something told you not to.

You filmed two episodes, finally stopping around 3 and leaving the room to get some lunch. Arin offered to buy everyone Wendy's and dragged you out to his car. Once there, he began to adjust a device attached to his windshield with suction cups. You opened your mouth to ask what it was for, until he slipped his phone inside and turned on the front camera.

"Hey! Spontaneous interview time! Quickly, what is your favorite episode of Game Grumps-"

"BATTLE KID COLON THE FINALE!" You screeched, and Arin's peals of laughter made your own grin appear.

"OKAY! What's your best stress reliever!?"

"Playing the Harvest Moon Franchise!"

"Good choice! I also would have accepted masturbation. Rapid fire round, you have 5 seconds! 3 people you would like to meet in person, GO!"

"Oh shit, oh shit uh... Gabe Newell, Richard Gere, Arin Hanson!" Arin was silent for three beats before shrieking.

"RICHARD GERE!?"

"I want to be his pretty woman!" You yelled back in defense, and Arin reached forward to turn off the phone's recording and slapped the steering wheel to try and control some of his laughing. Luckily, the two of you had just pulled into the Wendy's Drive-Thru, and you were safe from his questioning... Oh god, why did you say Arin's name? He probably thought you were a lunatic.

"Hey. HEY," You snapped your head up to look and he gestured to the menu, indicating that you needed to tell him what you wanted. You rattled off your order, and he parroted it into the microphone before pulling forward. Arin shifted awkwardly in his seat to try and get his wallet, before finally grunting and turning his butt toward you.

"Can you get it? Stupid seatbelt..." Why didn't he just take the seatbelt off? You thought that a moment after your hand tucked into his back pocket and yanked out his wallet. What a weirdo. You offered to pay for your order, but he waved you off and handed a card to the worker, before taking the bags and bags of food.

The drive back to the Grump Space was quieter than the drive to Wendy's, and everyone was quiet in the space as well, busy stuffing their faces. After you scarfed down your meal, you joined Danny lounging on the beanbag chairs, fiddling with your cellphone. Danny's arm quickly snaked around your shoulders and the two of you ended up on one beanbag, both cellphones being held aloft and selfies being taken.

"Is it cool if these go up?" He was polite enough to ask, and you agreed immediately, under the condition that nothing too horrible be put out. His compromise was that the two of you go through all of the pictures together and weed out anything unacceptable for human consumption. You agreed as well, and Dan brought you in and planted his lips on your cheek, snapping a quick picture.

It was adorable, and Dan said that he was posting that one to Instagram and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Just as he'd kissed your cheek, your smiling face had scrunched up. You had to admit, it was the most adorable thing you'd ever seen, if not slightly misleading. However, Dan made no mention of any vibes like that from the photo, so it ought to be okay, you reassured yourself.

You posted your own Dan-tastic selfie on your social media, one showing two of you making big cheesy grins, and summarized it with "Guess who??" The response was immediate, the first comment coming from Danny himself, with a multitude of heart and poop emojis. The two of you laughed together, before you rolled out from Dan's arm and scrambled to your feet. You stretched your arms to the ceiling and gave Dan a side eye as he fiddled with your phone. 

"There, you have my number now," You gave him a thumbs up and took your phone back, shoving it into the front pocket of your sweatshirt and searching your your keys.

"Hey, I'm gonna head out. I have a Livestream planned and I still need to make sure everything is working right," You announced to the space. Arin opened his mouth and gestured with a thumb to the door, before Dan exploded up from the beanbag and flopped an arm back over your shoulder.

"I'll walk you out to your car, the parking lot is pretty dark at night," Arin's hand flopped back down to his side, and he said a short goodbye before sitting back down at the table in the kitchenette. The vibes rolling off him were pretty strange, but Dan's insistent guiding and the smell of his cologne surrounding you was enough to pull your attention away.

Your drive home was rather quick, mostly because your mind was filled with the image of Dan's side-cocked grin as he waved goodbye, and it continued to dance in your mind for the next few hours. Your Livestream went rather well, opening up with a halfassed rendition of PPAP and then whittling a few hours away playing video games.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO. THIS STORY IS PRE-WRITTEN SO I'M JUST UPLOADING IT ALL TOGETHER AYYYY. 
> 
> Unbeta'd. Uncaring, yolo swag 420.

The sounds of your alarm gently broke through your sleep. Your hand shot out of the blanket and tapped "snooze" on the screen of your cellphone, before the alarm had time to continue its ascent of volume. You burrowed your head back under your pillows, taking a deep breath and letting yourself drift back to sleep. It was only minutes before the alarm began to go off again.

Groaning, you got out of bed and tried to get ready for the day. It wasn't until you were dressed, showered, and brushing your teeth that you finally checked your cell phone. You had a text from Danny, just a simple poop emoji. You had a baffling amount of notifications from Instagram and Twitter, no doubt about your picture on Danny's Instagram. 

There was a text from an unfamiliar number. You opened it, reading it over quickly twice before answering.

_Hey, this is Arin. Got your number from Dan, hope that's okay?_

_Good morning! Yeah, that's no problem, I figured you guys would pass it around after I gave it to Danny._

Arin's response didn't come until you were sitting on the couch, your laptop propped onto your crossed legs, and you were knee deep in messages from your close friend and/or manager Wanda. Apparently, the picture of Dan's cheek-kiss yesterday sparked a little more trouble than you thought, and Wanda was demanding answers.

_Okay, awesome. What are you doing with your day? You're always welcome at the GS btw._

You didn't answer Arin until you were finished with your conversation with Wanda, clarifying that no, you were not in a relationship with Dan, considering you had just met him less than 24 hours ago. That seemed to placate her, and she fluttered off to handle it. There was a reason you paid her so well. She was efficient.

_Not much, had to slog through some details with my manager about the picture of me and Danny yesterday, otherwise I'm just doing some brainstorming for my channel. And thanks! I'll have to take you up on that soonish._

Your texts with Arin continued through the day. He was surprisingly funny and nice, though you weren't expecting him to be otherwise. Just more than you thought already? Who knows. Either way, the conversation flowed easily as you slogged through all the technical parts of your work. 

Wanda popped back into your chat box after the sun went down, saying that she'd gotten an email from one of the coordinators of MAGfest, and they'd asked if you wanted to have a panel, or even just a booth. Wanda tried to convince you to agree to a panel, but you decided to just go with a booth. Despite having millions of people watching you play video games every day, standing in front of a crowd that was a fraction of that size made your blood run cold. 

MAGfest wouldn't be for quite a few months, so you still had a while until you even needed to worry about that. Might as well start setting money aside though for a hotel, and merchandise, and all kinds of other shenanigans. Your phone began to chirp out its ringtone, a phone call from Dan coming through. He sounded out of breath when you picked up.

"Hey there, sweet thang, whatcha doin'?" You laughed at his nickname, and detailed what you were doing at the moment – planning out your YouTube and streaming schedule for the next month, "Well, make sure you put some time in there to come hang out with us, hey? You hungry?"

"Yeah, I could eat." 

"How do you feel about sushi?" You told him that you were really feelin' it hard, and he said that he was heading out to eat with Arin and Suzy, and everyone was in agreement that you should get you ass out of the house and hang out with them. After giving Dan your address, you shut your laptop and began to briefly clean up your mess from the day. Wheat Thins, twinkie wrappers, cans of soda, all of them went into the garbage.

You heard the knock on your door as you were in the bathroom touching up your makeup. You hollered for them to come in, and it wasn't long before Dan slipped into the bathroom and leisurely leaned on the wall behind you, striking a very James Dean-esque pose. You boggled your eyes out and made an exaggerated frown at him in the mirror before finishing your lipstick and turning around.

"Are you ready to head out, oh flawless queen of my life, sunshine of my world?" You gave him an odd look, unable to hold it due to the cheesy grin on his face. The two of you headed out to his car parked in the road, which was empty. Arin and Suzy must have taken their own vehicle. Dan opened the door for you with a sweeping bow, and you laughed and graciously slid inside, giving him a regal wave.

"Okay, we should be there in just a sec, it's not too far," Dan told you, getting behind the wheel and heading out. Dan's car was pretty clean, there were a few gum wrappers on the floor, and his cup holders had a bit of sticky residue on them. It smelled like his cologne, or maybe it was body wash? Either way, it smelled heavenly. 

You looked over to Dan, and noticed him looking at you out of the corner of his eye. His mouth pulled up into a smile and he looked back to the road, the smile staying on his face the rest of the ride to the restaurant. After parking, he hurried to open your door for you, leading you inside with a hand to your lower back.

You couldn't tell if he was giving you all of this lavish attention because he just enjoyed being so nice, or if he was genuinely interested in you as more than a friend. He had received the same line of questioning from his own fans after that Instagram picture, but you noticed that he hadn't made any move to deny anything. How strange.

Arin and Suzy hadn't arrived yet, leaving you and Dan standing before an empty booth. You slid in first, and he seemed to hesitate for a second before sliding in next to you. You shot him a hesitant smile, and his own small grin was enough to make your heart skip a beat. You opened your mouth to say something, but at that moment, Arin slid into the booth across the table, followed by Suzy. 

"Sorry if you guys were waiting long, Arin couldn't find his wallet," Suzy explained, shooting her boyfriend a dirty look. Arin gave her a shrug and buried his face in his menu, cutting himself out of any conversation. Suzy instead turned to you, her smile wide and hopeful, "So, I am absolutely in _love_ with your lipstick!"

The two of your immediately dropped into a conversation about makeup brands and techniques, and it wasn't long before Suzy finally came out and asked, "Would you wanna do a collab on my channel? I was thinking about doing this makeup tag on YouTube using only children's makeup. We could go to the dollar store together and pick out some real winning palettes!"

"Oh you bet. I wonder if they make liquid foundation for children? Ha!" The two of you descended into tittering giggles, only interrupted by the waitress coming up and taking your drink and orders. Arin finally joined in the group conversation, asking Suzy about some appointment that they needed to go to tomorrow. You gave them half of your attention, but all of it was quickly consumed by the hand that rested on your knee. 

You looked to Dan, and he had his chin propped in his hand, pointedly not looking at you with a small smile on his face. You felt the tips of your ears redden and you tentatively reached down to rest your hand on his. Your lips quirked into a grin that you tried to hide with your other hand. Arin seemed to notice this, giving you a weird look and looking to Dan, realizing his similar expression. 

You could see the wheels in Arin's head begin to turn, and for some reason his eyebrows furrowed and he immersed himself in his dinner that had just arrived. Your smile dropped as his mood seemed to darken, and you tried to busy yourself with the sushi roll that you had ordered to share with Danny, since neither of you thought you could eat a whole one on your own. 

Suzy either didn't notice Arin's sudden mood change, or she disregarded it, because her cheerful demeanor didn't dampen one bit. She was engrossed with talking to Danny, which left you to shoot Arin some concerned glances, the thought of the hand on your knee no longer enough to distract you. 

Danny and Suzy took the separate bills to the front to pay them, leaving you and Arin to wait for your food to be boxed up and brought out to you. You tugged your pea coat on, buttoning the front and making sure you had your purse and your keys. Arin seemed to stop and wait for you, and when you turned around, he pulled you into a hug. Hesitantly, you wrapped your arms around his middle and he inhaled heavily. Was he smelling you...?

He released you after a few beats, giving you a sheepish smile, "Sorry man, I just wanted to do that, you're like the perfect height to hug. Anyway, I'll see you later? Tomorrow maybe?" You only nodded dumbly, and he hurried off outside, leaving you standing alone at the booth, wondering what the heck that was all about. 

As you hurried out to Danny, your only thought was that Arin's arms felt so comfortable and right.


	3. Wanting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA I'M TRASH. 
> 
> Unbeta'd.

6 months passed quickly, and before you knew it, you were busy booking your plane ticket and hotel for MAGfest. Barry had called you before you made any plans, offering to lump your reservations in with their's and get things a little cheaper. You eagerly agreed, handing over that responsibility to him. He said he'd get back to you soon with all the information. 

It's a Sunday, and you find yourself curled on your couch, wrapped in a blanket and watching Netflix. Your phone was clutched in your hands, and you periodically exchanged texts with Dan. It had been months since you'd met them, and his flirtation hadn't lessened a bit, and it hadn't gone any further, either. You'd narrowed it down to that just being his personality, even though you never noticed such attention focused on anyone else. 

Your fan base and his own were adamant that despite your refusal the two of you were dating, you obviously had to be lying. He'd joined you on one of your Live streams once, and the chat had just constantly been full of it. The two of you had a silent agreement to ignore it, and that stream had been your most-watched one yet.

Your phone chimed, this time it was Arin instead of Dan. He asked what you were up to, and you explained that you were just about to order some Chinese and spend the day watching movies. His answer was immediate, asking if you had room for one more. Suzy was visiting her family for the next 3 days, and he was extremely bored. 

He arrived quickly, a bag of snacks under his arm. You welcomed him in graciously, with a sweeping motion, "Welcome to my kasa. It's not very big, but I don't need a lot of room."

Your apartment door opened to the living room, and the kitchen was just beyond that. On the left wall was an opening that led to a small hallway with your bedroom on one side, and your bathroom on the other. It was small, but you had it decorated with your video game paraphernalia and all of your potted plants. 

Arin plopped his stuff down on the coffee table and turned to sweep you into another of his famous hugs. You looked forward to them, you had to admit that. You wrapped your arms around him eagerly, smashing your face into his chest and subtly breathing in. He released you, laying his hands on your shoulder and looking around, finally getting a good glimpse at your apartment.

"It's frickin' adorable. I'm diggin' the light saber collection," Arin was referring to the wall you had that held all of the different toy light sabers you'd collected over the years. Over half of them were made at the light saber station at Disney, where you could make your own with different parts. You looked upon it with pride, telling him that it was your prized collection.

The two of you migrated to the couch, where you already Chinese food laid out with paper plates and chopsticks. You let him choose what to watch while you piled food on your plate. You had pulled out an extra blanket from the closet, and he burrowed into it happily. You were a sight to behold – two Chinese food eating burritos, slumming it on the couch watching television. 

Your phone chimed with another text from Danny, and you smiled a little before shooting him a reply. Arin seemed to notice, and you could almost feel the air temperature drop ten degrees, "So... you and Dan, huh?"

"What? Oh, no! No, we're just friends," You explained, and he seemed to relax a little bit, before he looked back to his food, "We just play around a lot. Nothing more than that, you'd be one of the first to know."

The smile he gave you almost seemed relieved. You weren't sure how you felt about that. 

 

It must have been hours later when you woke up. The room was dark, except for the Netflix main menu screen. The food on the coffee table was cold. You were flat on your back on the couch, and nestled between your legs with his head on your chest was none other than Arin. His arms were wrapped around your waist, and yours were flat against his back. 

You weren't sure what to do. You almost wanted to just go back to sleep and hope that he would wake up first and you could avoid the embarrassment. Before you could act on anything, his head shifted to where you could notice that he was already awake, and you could just barely see that he was making eye contact with you. 

Neither of you spoke, and he didn't make any move to sit up. Your hand twitched, before you brought it up to run it through his hair, pushing it out of his face. Arin let out a sigh, letting his eyes drift closed. He relaxed even further against you, and you smiled lightly. This was strange, and you knew it shouldn't be happening, but for some reason you couldn't stop. You couldn't push him off of you. 

You paused your ministrations, and he let out a small grunt, reaching up to move your hand through his hair again, "Please don't stop," You could barely hear his plea, but he sounded so desperate that you gave him what he wanted. Arin lifted his head slightly, readjusting so that he could look up at your face clearly. 

"What time is it?" You asked, and he shrugged. 

"Don't know, don’t care."

"Fair enough," You agreed, letting out a breathy laugh and running your fingernails along his scalp. He groaned, his eyes falling shut for a moment before mumbling something and leaning up, pressing his lips against yours. You froze, unsure of what to do or how to respond, but he was insistent, his lips moving beautifully against yours, coaxing you to do the same. 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you tightened your grip on his hair, letting him pry your mouth open with his tongue so that he could kiss you fully. He tasted vaguely like garlic and soy sauce, and you had to have the same taste to him as well. He didn't seem to care, and you didn't either. Your mind was wholly consumed with the man on top of you, kissing you like you'd never been before. 

He pulled away, both of you panting and flushed. Arin's gaze was full of adoration. You wondered if he looked at Suzy like that. You tensed up, that one thought breaking through the haze and bringing everything crashing down. Arin noticed the immediate change in your demeanor, and allowed you to push him to a sitting position. 

Arin said your name quietly as you stood from the couch, righting your twisted shirt and crossing your arms over your chest. You took a few steps away before taking a deep breath to try and clear your thoughts. Why did you let that happen? He was in a long, happy relationship. He loved another woman. You'd known him for a fraction of that time. You'd already started having feelings for Danny. Despite your crush on Arin, you knew that it would never happen. 

But, apparently it could, judging from the forlorn look he was shooting you from the couch. He must have been unnerved by your silence, because he stood from the couch and began to gather his things quietly. You took two steps toward him, and laid your hand on his arm so he'd stop. 

"You um... you don't have to leave. Should we talk about this?" You asked, and he let out a small groan before dropping his phone back on the coffee table. He spun and pulled you against his chest. Against every instinct you had, you resisted wrapping your arms around him in return. 

"Everything feels so right with you. I've wanted this for so long, even before we met in person."

"We can't, Arin," You interrupted him, though your heart fluttered at his admission. How long had he wanted this?

"I know. I wanna tell you how I feel anyway, because I feel like I'm gonna go nuts. You're so beautiful. I've wanted you for years now. Jon showed me your channel back when you first started two years ago and I was hooked. You're so funny, and-and smart, and absolutely gorgeous," Your heart almost stopped, and you couldn't resist returning his hug any longer, and gripped him tight. He seemed to relax at your acceptance. 

Arin shifted his head so that his nose was buried in your hair. You inhaled his scent and it immediately made you relax, "I've wanted you too. But we can't, Arin. You have Suzy."

"And you have Dan. I know."

"I don't have Danny," You insisted, but Arin's huff of air proved that he didn't quite believe you. You weren't sure if you believed it, either. Neither you nor Dan ever took it further than innocent touches and flirting. Arin pulled away, the look on his face enough to break your heart. He forced a smile, running a thumb across your bottom lip before dipping down to kiss you again. Against your better judgement, you responded in kind, laying your palms against his neck and pulling him closer. 

"This can't happen again, Arin. Tomorrow, we _are_ going to forget this happened. I won't tell Suzy," You said, finally pulling from his grip. Arin nodded, his hands lingering on your hips for just a moment longer before taking a safe step backward. You gestured to the couch, telling him that he could stay the night if he wanted, and you'd make breakfast in the morning. He didn't say anything, but he nodded and laid back down.

In your own bed, you curled up and finally let your tears fall.


	4. Hot, Hot Bod

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd

The plane ride was downright awful. 

A month after the incident with Arin, you both had made your best efforts to keep it out of your mind. You couldn't keep it out of your actions though. None of the others noticed, but you knew that your touches lingered too long, he greedily inhaled your perfume every time you hugged. You stole glances at each other whenever possible. 

Dan's flirting had continued, and though you wanted Arin so desperately, you knew you had to put it out of your mind. You accepted Danny's advances, and the two of your continued your shenanigans without taking it anywhere. You were confused and lost on every front at this point, and your only solace was throwing yourself into your YouTube channel. 

You typed away at your laptop, answering random questions on the subreddit for your channel in the AMA you'd put up. Danny had shanghai'd Ross into trading seats with him, so he had gotten to sit next to you during the long plane ride. He joined in on your AMA pretty quickly after you started, much to the elation of your fans. 

_Any plans for a FNAF play through?_

_hell naw, playa. Idfw no scary games._

Danny pointed out the question above the one you'd answered. It was someone saying that they had been a follower of your channel since the very beginning, and they'd gotten through a lot of hard times using your channel, as well as the Game Grumps. It was their birthday today, and they wondered if you and Danny could take a silly selfie in their honor and post it in a comment. 

Dan immediately whipped his phone out and the two of you mashed your cheeks together and made cross eyes and duck faces. Dan posted it to the comment and the two of you continued answering questions, sometimes Dan putting in his own two cents when he felt like it. 

As the two of you giggled over your laptop, you could feel eyes on you. You knew it was from Arin, sitting directly behind the two of you and watching through the gap in the seats. Suzy was out like a light, so he didn't seem to have much shame in it. You somewhat wished that you could sit next to Arin instead, so you could be close to him, and have a reason to touch because the seats are so small. 

Arin was pushed from your mind as Dan laid his head on top of yours and took another selfie. He was giving a small smile and your face was in mild surprise. Your heart fluttered at how adorable the picture was, and gave him the green light to post it to Twitter and tag you in it. During your brief AMA, the two of you had a nonvocal agreement that you would skip over any questions pertaining to the relationship you may or may not have. And boy, there were a lot of them. 

After scrolling past a sequence of six questions, all varying on the subject of their relationship, Dan turned to you and let out a huff. He grabbed your hand, bringing it to his lips and giving it a quick peck before taking on a serious expression, "Look, I'm real tired of all the questions, and I like you a lot and It's either I stop showering you with affection and cute pictures, or we just be in a relationship. And I'm like, totally down to do that if you want. One-hundred percent on board. I'll date the shit outta you."

Behind your seat, you knew Arin was waiting with bated breath. Even though the two of you knew it couldn't happen again, and you knew it was wrong, you still had that flame inside you that burned for Arin, and he had the same for you. Though as you looked up at Danny, a hopeful smile on his face and your hand clasped to his chest, you couldn't help but smile.

You so very desperately wanted Arin, but you gave Danny a single nod in acceptance. He leaned forward and kissed you softly, and you could feel the rage pouring off of Arin in waves. It shouldn't concern you, you forced yourself to push him out of your mind, but not out of your heart. You didn't know if you could do that. Danny had his own place, his own flame, and if you couldn't nurture your love for Arin, you would give everything you had to Dan. 

 

You had your own hotel room. It was wonderfully spacious, even though it didn't have a Jacuzzi tub and a mini-bar, but you were content with just having a large and clean room. Barry had booked yours with their's, so your room was in their cluster. Barry said that their floor was pretty much reserved for panelists and other important figures going to MAGfest, that way they could get a bit of privacy. 

You doubted you would be harassed, but it was nice to know that you didn't even have the minuscule chance of it happening. Danny had the room next door, and as the two of you checked in, he told you that if anything was wrong, you could knock on the wall between your rooms and he would come running, naked and brandishing a towel rack. 

"So what you're saying is that if I knock on the wall, I'll get to see you naked?" You waggled your eyebrows at him, and the lusty grin he gave you made your knees weak.

"You can see me naked whenever you want, sweets," The two of you exchanged perverse smiles, before breaking out into peals of laughter. You couldn't help but be hyper-aware of Arin and Suzy walking behind you. Suzy was sharing your giggles, but you could almost see the forced look of neutrality on Arin's face. 

After dropping your bags off in your room, the entire group went out to dinner. At the table you guys were going to sit at, were two people you immediately recognized. Your brain stopped to reboot, and it took a second to realize that you were being introduced. 

"Mark, Jon, this is my girlfriend," He offered them your name, and the two men gave megawatt smiles in return.

"Girlfriend~? You've finally tricked a woman into thinking It's okay that you cry during sex?" Mark teased and you laughed awkwardly, taking your seat between Jon and Dan. You were surprised that Jon was here and joking around with the group. You'd thought they weren't on good terms, but apparently you were mistaken. Dan must have read your mind, because he leaned over and whispered in your ear. 

"Jon and Arin made up, it was just some stupid fight. Arin's actually doing some work with Jon on a new mini-series that Jon's doing," You nodded in understanding, and turned to Jon when he started to talk to you.

"It's real cool to finally meet you, I've been a fan for ages and ages."

"Hey, same!" You gave him a grin, excited that Arin hadn't been lying before. Jon really had shown Arin your channel, "I've been following your stuff for years too. How is New York treating you?"

"It's alright, little busy, little cold, but hey, what can ya do am I right?" He spoke in an exaggerated Brooklyn accent, and let out a goofy laugh at the end. You immediately could tell you and Jon would be fast friends. He seemed like a real good guy. You spent most of dinner bullshitting with him, talking about your channels, how you ended up wrapped in the Grumps, and what he was planning for the mini-series Dan had talked about. 

After dinner, your group headed back to the hotel as a mass of bodies, and only split up to go to your separate rooms. Dan stopped outside of yours and gave you a sweet kiss goodnight, telling you to call him if you needed anything at all, even if it was his hot, hot body. You laughed and pushed his shoulder, then ducked into your room and locked him out. His titters of laughter carried through the door as he walked away. 

As you got ready for bed and climbed under the sheets, your phone chimed with a message from Arin. 

_I wish you were with me._

You read the single sentence for what seemed like hours before you finally answered.

_You can come hang out if you want._

His reply was immediate.

_No. I mean with me instead of Dan._

You weren't sure how to respond to this, and all you could respond back with was "Oh." Arin took an equally long amount of time to respond, and it was just a sad emoji. You set your phone down, rolled to the opposite side of the bed, and tried not to remember how it felt when he'd lain with you on the couch.


	5. Miserable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOH SHIT, IT'S REAL NOW HOMIE. YASSS.
> 
> Unbeta'd.

"What's poppin' playaaa!"

That seemed to be a common greeting from all of the fans that came to your booth for pictures and autographs. It was your opening catchphrase for any videos you made, from the very beginning. It always amazed you that so many people watched your channel and enjoyed what you did. The continued repeating of the phrase probably should annoy you at this point, but you like to think of it as another tally on the list of people that really enjoy and support you. 

Your line seemed to double in length when you were visited by your tall, Jewish boyfriend named Dan. He wasn't officially part of your booth roster, which consisted of you, you, and also you. He hung around anyway, and people started asking for his autograph and pictures. A young girl with pretty purple hair came up with a copy of Dark Cloud for you to sign, and once you were done she stuttered out a question, asking to take a picture with you and Danny. 

Dan gave you a wink, and you felt a very ominous cloud wash over you. The girl stood in front of you and Danny, and you got one of the attendants to take the picture. Just as the camera went off, Dan pulled you toward him and laid a heavy kiss on your lips, dipping you slightly and wrapping his arms around your hips. 

The sound of the line's astonishment was deafening. The purple haired girl had gotten her phone back and had managed to take two more pictures of Dan's display before she was ushered out of the booth. Dan released you and with a saucy wink he disappeared out the back of the booth, leaving you to clean up the mess he'd made. 

 

It was another three hours until you finished with your time slot for the day and made your way to the Game Grumps booth. Their panel wasn't until the following day, and today was their only booth day. Suzy greeted you with an elated hug, saying that it was impossible not to hear about what you and Dan did at the booth. You denied it vehemently, saying that it was all Danny's idea. 

Ross chimed in that Dan truly was a drama queen, and Danny puffed his chest out and accepted it as a compliment before turning back to the video game he'd been signing for a guy with a man bun and a very Tony Stark-esque goatee. You walked behind Danny, who was seated next to Arin, and laid your hands on his shoulders, rubbing a little to try and get rid of some tension. 

"You are really evil. Warn me next time, hey?" You grumbled, and the smile he flashed up at you was absolutely adorable. Your heart skipped a beat and you leaned down to blow a raspberry on his head. You left soon afterward, intent on spending some time on the floor to pick up some merch. There was a demo of the new Zelda game out, and you were very excited for it. 

Later that night, after eating dinner with Dan alone and heading back to your hotel room, you were the gracious recipient of another text from Arin. 

_I wish I was him._

You send him a slanted-mouth emoji, and that was enough to make him continue. 

_He deserves you, though. He is an amazing guy._

_Arin, we can't be doing this._

You hoped your text was firm enough in your conviction, because even though you were no longer single, and Arin wasn't either, you still wanted him so very desperately.

_I don't care. I wish I had met you first._

You didn't need half a brain to realize that he meant before Suzy. His words made you think of the beautiful girl with the sunny disposition, and your heart broke. If she ever saw how he was talking to you, she would be devastated. You typed out your response, regardless of how your heart was bleeding.

_Me too. Arin, I want you too, but we can't do this, alright. This isn't helping either of us._

_I would do anything._

You stared at this message for what felt like a millennium. You didn't answer.

 

The rest of MAGfest went by swimmingly. Arin and you made very diligent efforts to ignore the late night texts, and to seem like normal friends. His hugs went a beat longer than what was appropriate, his stolen glances made your skin burn pleasantly. Every time you kissed Dan, you thought about your lips kissing Arin's instead. Dan was sweet, funny, caring, and gentle... but he wasn't Arin.

You felt disgusting for feeling this way. 

Back at home, you poured all of your effort into your channel, uploading a lot of videos from MAGfest, loads of pictures, and an overarching recount of everything that you loved and didn't love about this year's convention. The subreddit for your channel had completely exploded after the fiasco, and your fans had taken to calling all of the lead up and the eventual climax of the reveal as "The Dangate Scandal". He thought it was hilarious. 

Your relationship with Dan didn't move very far beyond kisses and cuddles. Both of you had expressed a very strong desire to take it slow. It was definitely very slow. It was another three months before you were brought aside by Barry at the Grump Space to an empty desk that seemed to be brand new. 

"Honestly, this is pretty overdue, but we want you to be like, an official member."

"A-an official member?"

"Yeah, a Grump. I have all the forms written up if you want it. You'd get a key to the Grump Space, this would be your desk. You spend so much time here and help out and film half of your shit here that it should've been offered to you a long time ago," Barry gave you a tentative smile and you let out an elated laugh. 

"Of course! Absolutely, oh my god," Barry shared your laugh and ran to Dan and Arin's recording area, poking his head inside and sharing the good news. 

"She said yes!"

"ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US." Arin began to chant, as Dan laughed and neither of them actually explained who said yes to what. You snatched your keys up, and as soon as Dan and Arin finished their session, you tried to drag Dan with you to help you move your setup to your fancy new desk. 

"I can't, hun, I gotta head out to Brian's to work on some music," He apologized and planted a kiss on your head. You pouted and tried to give him the stink eye, but he gave you the same expression back. You couldn't stay mad at this goofball. 

"Yo, if you need help I can come with," Arin surprised you by offering. Even though the two of you tried your best to act completely normal, you had kept your alone time to a very, very low minimum. Nothing would happen, you reasoned, and agreed to Arin coming along to help you carry all your shit. 

The ride to your apartment was quiet, and it wasn't until he was inside of your apartment that he spoke up, "Are you happy?"

"In general? Yeah," You said, heading to your room to unhook your battle station. Arin snatched up your hand and made you stop in your tracks. 

"No, you know what I mean. I'm... miserable," The last part was almost inaudible. Your brow furrowed and you tried not to look at his melancholic face. 

"I don't know. Arin, please. We can't."

"I love you."

His admission knocked the breath out of you. You opened and closed your mouth, desperately looking for an answer. He took a step forward, reaching for your other hand and clasping them tightly in his own. 

"I know you love me, too," He pleaded, and you finally grasped something to tell him. 

"I want you so bad, but we can't, Arin."

"What if I left Suzy?" Your heart skipped a beat, before starting back up at double speed. 

"No. You can't."

"I can. I would if you asked. All you gotta do is say yes," Arin's words were barely above a whisper, and you squeezed his hands tightly before gently pulling them away. 

"I do love you, Arin. We can't do that to Suzy. I can't do that to Danny. It can't happen, okay?" His expression was absolutely devastated. You laid your palm against his neck and rubbed your thumb through the short stubble on his jawline, "If circumstances were different, we could be together."

"Fuck it, let's change the circumstances, then," He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours insistently, almost pleading for you to respond. Your mind was screaming at you to stop, to push him away, but you leaned into him, splaying your hand across his chest and tightening the grip you had on his jaw. He groaned, running his hands down your sides until they rested on your hips.

He guided you back until your knees hit the couch, and you collapsed onto it. He loomed over you, leaning to continue stealing kisses and slipping his hands underneath your shirt. You moaned, lifting your arms so he could slip your shirt off, leaving you in your bra. He yanked off his own shirt and guided you to lay down completely. 

Arin kneeled between your legs, kissing down your throat until he came to your bra. He pressed wet kisses where the cup ended before gently tugging them down and taking your breasts in his hands. You let out a small sigh as his thumb ran over your nipple, then a whimper as he pinched it gently. 

"God, I've wanted you for so long," Arin whispered reverently into your neck, peppering it with kisses and rolling your breasts in his hands. You brought your hands up to tangle his hair, tugging him closer, wordlessly urging him to continue. His mouth traveled from your neck, down your chest, to one of your nipples, pulling it into his mouth and running his tongue over the nub. 

You noise of pleasure wasn't quiet this time, and he let out a small laugh before doing it again and again, coaxing a slew of whimpers and moans from your lips. When he finally pulled away, he looked down at you, his eyes full of nothing short of absolute adoration. You could feel his unspoken question, and you nodded at him. At this point, in this state, he could do anything he wanted to you. 

When his hands unbuttoned your jeans and gently tugged them down your hips, you knew exactly what it was that he wanted. You knew you should stop, but any hope of that had been dashed as soon as Arin had kissed you. You lifted your hips, letting him slide your jeans and underwear down in one movement. You were bare beneath him, and Arin didn't bother to hide his hungry gaze. 

Arin made his way south, leaving small nips and kisses along the way and stopped with his face inches away from your pussy. He spread you with his thumbs, letting out a shaking breath and looking up to your eyes. Making eye contact, he leaned forward and gave you a long lick, tearing a whimper from your throat.

"I've dreamed of this, of you, for so long that I don't even think this is real. If it isn't, fuck, I don't even wanna wake up," Arin's gaze was so intense, it made heat pool straight to your core, and he appeased you by using his thumb to massage around your clit, spiraling closer until he hit exactly where you needed. Between his tongue, his fingers, and the stubble scratching your thighs lightly, you felt yourself climbing higher and higher. 

"Mmmh, Arin... Please..." You begged, and he stopped his gentle sucking on your clit, but continued to pump his fingers into you.

"You gonna cum for me, babe?" You nodded frantically, barely able to push out your pleas. He took pity on you and sucked your clit into his mouth, swirling his tongue and nipping gently. Your hips bucked and you shuddered as he pushed you over the edge, and he moaned in appreciation as you fell, licking and sucking as you tumbled through it. 

"I'm gonna fuck you, babe," His voice rumbled deep in his chest as he made his way back up to your face. You kissed him insistently, uncaring of your release on his face. He greedily took everything you had to give, trying to tug his shorts off as he did so. 

Arin nudged your thighs apart, and you could feel the head of his cock being rubbed against your over-sensitive clit. You let out a shaking sigh, and he buried his face in your neck to leave gentle kisses there, "I'm gonna fuck you into this couch so hard, the only thing that will ever come out of your mouth again is my name."

"Oh god, Arin please," It almost sounded like a sob. Arin took one knee in his hand and his cock in the other, and slowly guided himself into your folds. The groan of relief he left out sounded like the sweetest song. You guided his face to yours, pressing your lips against his and trying to convey every feeling you had. 

"You're so perfect, baby. I wanna fuck you every day, I wanna wake up and see you sleeping in my arms, I wanna marry you and keep you forever," His words sounded like a prayer, and they honest-to-god made you tear up as he bottomed out inside of you. Arin pulled back almost completely, and thrust back in until your hips were flush once more. You reached up, tangling your hands in his hair and pulling his face close. 

"Fuck me into this couch, Arin Hanson."

He flipped you over so that you were on your knees, chest flat against the couch. Arin's hips slapped against yours with almost bruising force, and your moans and his grunts mingled together in perfect harmony, "God, you take my dick so well."

Arin lifted you onto your hands and knees, reaching around to tug one of your nipples roughly. Between his pinching fingers, his balls slapping against your clit with every thrust, and his amazing cock stretching you so perfectly, you came without any warning or preamble, sobbing his name out into the air of your apartment. 

"Yeah, fuckin' say my name, babe. Tell the world who you belong to, whose cock is fuckin' you so good," He grunted into your ear, and you screamed his name, riding out your orgasm until all that was left was the burning embers. With a shuddering groan, he pulled out and came across your lower back, nestling his cock against the apex of your ass cheeks. 

He collapsed on top of you, and you joined him in post-coital bliss. He peppered kisses against your shoulder blade, whispering promises of love. With the haze of lust cleared from your mind, you felt the startling realization of what the two of you had done. Your sob seemed to break him out of his own daze, and he rolled you over to hold you against his bare chest. 

"Shhh, it's alright. It's okay, we are okay-"

"No we're not!" You burst, pulling away from him and leaving to the bathroom to get cleaned up, to wipe the evidence off of your back. He followed you, taking the paper towel from your hand and helping you make sure everything was off.

"This was wrong. It was a mistake."

"No, it wasn't. You love me. I love you. I'm never gonna regret this, not for a million years," He tried to convince you. You pushed past him, gathering up your clothes and pulling them back on, trying to wipe the flow of tears from your eyes. 

"I shouldn't have said yes to Barry. I think we should take some time apart. I can't do this, Arin. This isn't fair to anyone involved-"

"Who else is involved? It's just me and you. We can make it fair-"

"What about Dan and Suzy!?"

"I want you more than I could ever dream of wanting Suzy. You are the most amazing-"

"Arin, no. Don't even say it, okay? I'm not gonna be the one to break you and Suzy up, and I'm sure not going to be the one to blame if Game Grumps is destroyed," You buttoned your jeans and gave everything a once-over to make sure that there was no evidence of your infidelity. 

"No, I am gonna say it, because I fuckin' love you more than anything, alright? This past almost-year has been actual torture, seeing you and not being able to have you. I told you that I wasn't letting you go, and I'm not. I'm breaking up with Suzy," He said with finality, and you buried your face in your hands, collapsing to sit on the couch. This was so fucked up. How did this even happen? You'd have to break up with Danny, that's a given. You didn't feel right being with him, knowing that you ruined his trust like this. 

"I think maybe you should leave, Arin. I need some time to myself."

"Look, think all you need to. I won't stop loving you. I would do anything you asked me to," His parting words tore a sob from your chest, and he left the apartment. You sat alone on your couch, bawling your eyes out for everything that was so wrong in your life.


	6. All the Stars in the Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOH THEY FRICKIN'
> 
> Here's the end. Unbeta'd.

It took you two days to finally call Danny over. He arrived with ice cream, already knowing that you had been in a piss poor mood for days. He was so perfect, and it only made you feel even worse for what you had done. He guided you over to the couch, pulling you to lay against his chest. 

"Tell Uncle Danny what's wrong, sweets," He joked, and you let out a sharp bark of a laugh before letting more tears fall. When you didn't answer right away, he hugged you a little tighter and laid his chin on your head, "It finally happened, huh?"

"What?" Was the only thing you could blurt out, and you could feel the sad smile he pressed to the crown of your head. 

"You and Arin. I'm not stupid, the others haven't noticed anything, but I've been friends with Arin for a real long time. I knew about how he felt waaay before you even met him. When did he finally say something?"

"Before you and I started going out, but I told him that it c-couldn't happen," You hiccuped, and Dan smoothed his hand over your messy hair, preemptively soothing your sobs.

"I figured. Which one of you initiated?"

"Arin did. I'm so sorry Danny, I shouldn't have done it, I should've-"

"Look, sweets, I get it. I like you a lot but you've _always_ been his, I shouldn't have even tried to get into things. When Barry told us that you'd agreed to be a Guest Grump, I knew this was gonna be the end result," He didn't sound bitter, or resigned, or even upset. It seemed like he'd come to terms with everything a long time ago. 

"But I cheated-"

"Yeah, you did. You were never, _ever_ mine though. It's part of the reason why I asked that we go slow, because I knew sooner or later, Arin was going to break. He's been in love with you for so long, sweets. I'm not sure if Suzy knows or not. No one else knows anything though, for sure," Dan helped you to sit up, and he gave you a winning smile, one that only made your heart hurt. He didn't seem upset, which was startling. You were expecting tears, and a fight. Not this-this support over what you had done. 

"Think about things, alright? I like Suzy, but she doesn't make Arin happy. They're together because it's just what they've known for so long. Arin would give you all of the stars in the sky if you asked him to," You buried your face in your hands and groaned. Dan laughed at you, rubbing a hand along your back comfortingly. 

"Danny, I'm still sorry. I don't want this to ruin what you guys have already built."

"It's gonna upset some people, but you and I can just say that we didn't work out, and we only really tried to date because we had been pestered so much by our fans, but we are better off as friends. If you want my suggestion, I'd wait to announce anything with Arin for quite some time. Let things about Suzy settle," You nodded in agreement, and he reached to the coffee table to grab the ice cream he'd brought. The two of you settled in with spoons, watching My Cat From Hell on Netflix and trying to forget how messed up things came to be. 

 

_Yes_

You hoped that one word could convey what you meant to Arin. He didn't answer. Not for a few hours at least. Your answer came in the form of your front door bursting open, giving you a heart attack. You turned around in your kitchen to see who it was, and you were greeted by Arin standing in the doorway, breathing heavily. 

Long strides brought him across your apartment and up against you, greedily stealing a kiss from your lips. He pulled away before you had a chance to respond, and his eyes were so intense when he opened them to stare at you, "I am yours."

"Suzy-"

"Already knows, and we broke up. Danny told me what happened with you guys. She was the same way. I think she always knew," He leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours and letting out a content sigh. Shakily, you reached your hands up to rest on his waist. He gripped the edge of the counter on both sides, blocking you in and leaning against you. 

"I've wanted this for so long, and now you're mine. I feel like I'm dreaming, dude," You laughed at his use of dude, and pressed a tentative kiss to the corner of his mouth. He was so warm against you, you could resist wrapping your arms around him completely and clutching him tight. There wasn't anything holding you back anymore. 

"I love you," You whispered into his chest, and he pressed his lips to the crown of your head. 

"I love you, too. I'm never letting you go."


End file.
